We are always so consumed by relationships, how to find one, once we find one how do we keep it, how to get out of one and what happens after all is said and done. While I agree that we do need to open up and give someone else the benefit of the doubt, give them the opportunity to show us who they are are. I feel there is a relationship far more important that gets overlooked all too often.
Of all the relationships that come and go out of our lives the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Sometimes, well more often than not, we take this one for granted. How can we truly let ourselves love someone if we don't yet love ourselves. After a discussion with a close friend the concept of having a good realtionship with oneself seemed to be the answer we've all been looking for! Such a simple concept seemed to elude us and yet the more I think about it the more I see that this is infact the missing piece to the puzzle.
Most of the time we don't know what we want. We jump around from potential partner to potential partner and each time we come up short changed. The reason we are finding people such as St. Britain, After Hours and Channing is because we don't know what we want! We just expect that the one for us will show up and we never think that we may be the very reason for why they haven't come yet. We are constantly putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to the Angelinas and Brads of the world. When we are not satisfyed with who we are or what we look like we simply just justify that whoever is meant for us will love us unconditionally with flaws and all. While this is true, that person will love us no matter who we are, it is only to a certain extent.
The one for us will love us unconditonally for who we are. Who we are should be someone who is happy in their skin. Someone who knows who they are and are comfortable and proud to be themselves. Why should we get into a relationship with someone else before working on the most important one, the one with ourselves? Could it be that when we accept ourselves and finally learn to love who we are is when all the questions about the opposite sex are answered? Is what we are looking for someone who is first and foremost in a stable relationship with themself? I think we are on to something. When they said "Love others well, but love thyself the most; give good for good, but not to thine own cost." maybe they were right all along and we just turned a blind eye.
Can we set aside our desire to love and be loved for a little while, while we learn to love ourselves?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The 21st Century Man
Henry VIII changed the face of religion in the United Kingdom for a woman. The Taj Mahal was built out of love for a woman. The Trojan race was wiped out by a war that was begun for love for a woman. Our history is litered with great men who did showed their love by extraordinary means. They showed their love in a way where we are still feeling the effect of their love being echoed throughout the centuries.
When I see these amazing things that have happened in the world's history I wonder, where did the old world sense of romance disappear to? The more I think about it the more I realize those men are very few and far between. If not only in my life but in the lives of those around me as well.
After Hours, a good looking guy, funny, good personality. The kind of guy who still baffles no matter how hard you try to understand his actions. My friend met After Hours one night and entertained the idea that he may actually be a good one, he even had me convinced he would be good for her. Then he didn't call, so we wrote him off. A week later she hears from him and he joins us along with his friends on a night out. After the night out he went back to no phone calls then suddenly he would call but always post-midnight. No to mention making plans, or atleast attemping to, but never following through.
Exhibit B, let'scall him Channing. He would contact me in the same way as After Hours would contact my friend, although, he uses the less primitive form of communication instead of calling me he would send me e-mails every couple of weeks begging to see me and professing he would do anything for me. However, when it would come down to it he would see me once then not contact me again for a few more weeks even though before leaving he would promise that all he wanted to do is be with me and want to see me everyday.
Men like Channing and After Hours baffle me. I have tried so hard to unravel this mystery along with my friends and we never seem to be able to figure it out. This is my cry to men out there.... please don't say things you don't mean! If a man tells a woman he will do something where in his mind does he think that it is O.K. to not do it without telling the woman. After discussing this with my friends and from my own thoughts on the matter we've come to the conclusion that a man should do what he says and if he can't there are ways of notifying us. It is the 21st century after all.
Men like Paris from Troy, Henry VIII and Emperor Shah Jahan knew they loved their women and they showed it in the way they knew how. When men like them could do amazing things for the women they loved then why is it so hard for a man today to just follow through with something as simple as showing up or calling. How is it that in the time we live in now, where communicating with one another has never been easier, are we finding it so hard to open the lines? Why can't we talk to one another and tell each other how we really feel? What are we afraid of? Why is it so hard to open up?
When I see these amazing things that have happened in the world's history I wonder, where did the old world sense of romance disappear to? The more I think about it the more I realize those men are very few and far between. If not only in my life but in the lives of those around me as well.
After Hours, a good looking guy, funny, good personality. The kind of guy who still baffles no matter how hard you try to understand his actions. My friend met After Hours one night and entertained the idea that he may actually be a good one, he even had me convinced he would be good for her. Then he didn't call, so we wrote him off. A week later she hears from him and he joins us along with his friends on a night out. After the night out he went back to no phone calls then suddenly he would call but always post-midnight. No to mention making plans, or atleast attemping to, but never following through.
Exhibit B, let'scall him Channing. He would contact me in the same way as After Hours would contact my friend, although, he uses the less primitive form of communication instead of calling me he would send me e-mails every couple of weeks begging to see me and professing he would do anything for me. However, when it would come down to it he would see me once then not contact me again for a few more weeks even though before leaving he would promise that all he wanted to do is be with me and want to see me everyday.
Men like Channing and After Hours baffle me. I have tried so hard to unravel this mystery along with my friends and we never seem to be able to figure it out. This is my cry to men out there.... please don't say things you don't mean! If a man tells a woman he will do something where in his mind does he think that it is O.K. to not do it without telling the woman. After discussing this with my friends and from my own thoughts on the matter we've come to the conclusion that a man should do what he says and if he can't there are ways of notifying us. It is the 21st century after all.
Men like Paris from Troy, Henry VIII and Emperor Shah Jahan knew they loved their women and they showed it in the way they knew how. When men like them could do amazing things for the women they loved then why is it so hard for a man today to just follow through with something as simple as showing up or calling. How is it that in the time we live in now, where communicating with one another has never been easier, are we finding it so hard to open the lines? Why can't we talk to one another and tell each other how we really feel? What are we afraid of? Why is it so hard to open up?
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