Is it possible that sometimes we are too out there with ourselves? I've always believed that one should never have any regrets therefore, let yourself be acknowledged, "put yourself out there!". After years of the same routine maybe it just doesn't work quite as well as we've been told.
I live by the motto of, "no regrets" so that I never think to myself, "what if?". Now I find that it is increasingly becoming more difficult not to feel like giving up, but then the thought comes to me, why should I give up? I understand the concepts of not showing interest, or playing games. I can't say that I am one for games, yet apparently one needs to know how to handle themselves to seem more desirable to the opposite sex, but why? Are we not good enough the way we are?
If we are interested in someone, we like them, why can't we just show it? Or god forbid we actually tell them! This has continued to baffle me. Maybe we get shot down once, twice, a few times, but it won't kill us! Why are we so afraid to show the other person how we feel about them? Wouldn't it be better to get this part out of the way first so in the end if we don't quite work out at least we didn't waste each other's time?
In the grand scheme of things does it really matter whether you played the game or not? Let's just stop playing the roles of predator and prey and let's enjoy the time we have with each other, no rules, no games. I think if we decide to just throw the rule book out the window, even just for a day, we might see a change in the way men and women ineract with each other. Why are we so afriad to show who we really are? I say come out with it, because if he or she doesn't like you for you then it's a waste of time anyways. The person you are meant to be with will accept you for who you are not for the games you play. So maybe it is good to put yourself out there otherwise you might get lost amoung all the other prey and you are too unique and wonderful in your own way to allow that to happen.
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Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Like Riding a Bike
When I look at my friends and I look at myself, I can see how we’ve changed. We’ve all been through tough times in relationships and the wear and tear eventually takes a toll on the person we are today. I don’t only mean just the girls either. Sure, men have broken our hearts, upset us, but I know women can be just as hurtful to men. I suppose what I’m wondering is, when we are hurt, badly, how do we bounce back? How do we trust again?
When you take a rubber band, for example, and you stretch it and keep stretching it, eventually it begins to lose shape, and sometimes it turns brittle and breaks. At the start it is able to bounce back right away but eventually it starts to lose elasticity. I believe any given person is this way. We try and try but each time we get hurt something changes inside of us. From what I’ve seen this turns many of us into cynics and we forget how to trust someone.
The harshest example of heartbreak I would say is finding someone we love cheating on us. There are thousands of cases that I could point out in this area but the story is generally the same. So they didn’t love us back as much as we loved them and they were too cowardly to tell us to our face. Now what? We are angry and hurt and in most we lose trust in the opposite sex. It doesn’t have to be cheating that makes us lose trust, there are many reasons. The problem is we carry on these trust issues with us into the next relationship and the next relationship as almost a form of self-sabotage. We dwell and we nit-pick on the little details and eventually we lose that positive, bubbly, outlook we used to have on relationships.
How do we begin to learn to trust again? Not every girl or every guy out there is out to hurt us, but why don’t we give people the benefit of the doubt? Why are we so scared to be open and vulnerable? So we will get hurt, it happens. We need to start looking at the bigger picture. They hurt us and yes it’s a hard thing to have to go through but stop for just a minute and think, would you have wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone who wasn’t going to treat you right? I am hoping your answer was no. So they why waste even more than a second dwelling on them and punishing the future men and women in our lives over something that someone who wasn’t worth it did? In the future we will meet that one person who will be “the one” but how will we ever know if we don’t trust them enough for them to be “the one”?
Sometimes we need to take the guard down and allow ourselves to be in a position where we might meet the man or woman of our dreams. Maybe we get hurt again, maybe we don’t, but if we don’t try then we just let them go because we don’t open ourselves up to the possibility of them. When we were little we fell off our bikes so many times before we could finally ride around the block. Maybe we need to unlock that very spirit that we once had, the persistence to just keep trying until we got it right. Life was much simpler then, we trusted unconditionally. Now we say life is hard and it’s too hard to trust anyone, maybe if we just applied what we used to know to what we know now trusting someone would come a whole lot easier to us. Maybe we need to be careful, but where do we draw the line between being careful and becoming cynical? Let’s open up a little and just see what happens, you never know unless you try, right?
When you take a rubber band, for example, and you stretch it and keep stretching it, eventually it begins to lose shape, and sometimes it turns brittle and breaks. At the start it is able to bounce back right away but eventually it starts to lose elasticity. I believe any given person is this way. We try and try but each time we get hurt something changes inside of us. From what I’ve seen this turns many of us into cynics and we forget how to trust someone.
The harshest example of heartbreak I would say is finding someone we love cheating on us. There are thousands of cases that I could point out in this area but the story is generally the same. So they didn’t love us back as much as we loved them and they were too cowardly to tell us to our face. Now what? We are angry and hurt and in most we lose trust in the opposite sex. It doesn’t have to be cheating that makes us lose trust, there are many reasons. The problem is we carry on these trust issues with us into the next relationship and the next relationship as almost a form of self-sabotage. We dwell and we nit-pick on the little details and eventually we lose that positive, bubbly, outlook we used to have on relationships.
How do we begin to learn to trust again? Not every girl or every guy out there is out to hurt us, but why don’t we give people the benefit of the doubt? Why are we so scared to be open and vulnerable? So we will get hurt, it happens. We need to start looking at the bigger picture. They hurt us and yes it’s a hard thing to have to go through but stop for just a minute and think, would you have wanted to spend the rest of your life with someone who wasn’t going to treat you right? I am hoping your answer was no. So they why waste even more than a second dwelling on them and punishing the future men and women in our lives over something that someone who wasn’t worth it did? In the future we will meet that one person who will be “the one” but how will we ever know if we don’t trust them enough for them to be “the one”?
Sometimes we need to take the guard down and allow ourselves to be in a position where we might meet the man or woman of our dreams. Maybe we get hurt again, maybe we don’t, but if we don’t try then we just let them go because we don’t open ourselves up to the possibility of them. When we were little we fell off our bikes so many times before we could finally ride around the block. Maybe we need to unlock that very spirit that we once had, the persistence to just keep trying until we got it right. Life was much simpler then, we trusted unconditionally. Now we say life is hard and it’s too hard to trust anyone, maybe if we just applied what we used to know to what we know now trusting someone would come a whole lot easier to us. Maybe we need to be careful, but where do we draw the line between being careful and becoming cynical? Let’s open up a little and just see what happens, you never know unless you try, right?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Friendship Facade
Those infamous last words, "let's just be friends". Why do we say these words when most of the time we know we don't mean it? Is it because it softens the blow or is it because maybe we fool ourselves into thinking that maybe we can be friends? Maybe we just need to start learning to say what we mean.
F.M., a guy who in every regard seemed to be perfect. Sweet and fun to be around not to mention good looking and very considerate. As most heros fall so did he, the calling and text messaging subsided and his behaviour did a complete 180. What was I to think? Did I do something wrong? Then I thought and was told.... why do I always revert back to thinking I've done something wrong? For the most part we all think this. Finally after some very strange behaviour on his part we had "the talk" and decided to remain friends. I always assumed that friends would see each other, call each other from time to time...maybe I was wrong but this is not what happened.
On the other hand my friend, who I will call Lambchop, had been on a few dates with a girl and decided she wasn't really right for him. So he came to me and asked what he should do. Of course the "let's just be friends" idea came up. The more I think about it the more I wonder, why do we put ourselves through it?
Either we tell someone we want to be friends or they tell us, but how often do we really mean it? Sometimes we just don't want to ever have to talk to them again or we say it because we just don't want to hurt them and this seems to be the easiest way. If we are the ones being told that someone we like just wants to be friends with us we think well maybe somewhere down the line things will work out or I rather have them in my life than not at all. We kid ourselves into believing this is the best way yet in the end we are left disappointed when we don't hear from them or see them for months at a time.
"I'm just too busy for a relationship right now, work/school/family needs to be my priority, but I'd love it if we stayed friends." Why don't we just say what we really mean unless you truly do want to be friends with the person! We could save each other disappointment and anger if we just could say what we mean. We need to move forward and get past trying to please everyone and keep everyone happy. It's better to be honest than to give someone false hopes.
It makes me wonder, why is it that with all the advancement in society it seems that this area of our lives, dating, romance, relationships, seem to remain stagnant. Let's try something new. Let's try being open and honest. Let's try being real friends and not just friends for the sake of hiding how we really feel and the fear or hurting someone. Honesty may hurt now but in the end it will save us so much more heartache.
F.M., a guy who in every regard seemed to be perfect. Sweet and fun to be around not to mention good looking and very considerate. As most heros fall so did he, the calling and text messaging subsided and his behaviour did a complete 180. What was I to think? Did I do something wrong? Then I thought and was told.... why do I always revert back to thinking I've done something wrong? For the most part we all think this. Finally after some very strange behaviour on his part we had "the talk" and decided to remain friends. I always assumed that friends would see each other, call each other from time to time...maybe I was wrong but this is not what happened.
On the other hand my friend, who I will call Lambchop, had been on a few dates with a girl and decided she wasn't really right for him. So he came to me and asked what he should do. Of course the "let's just be friends" idea came up. The more I think about it the more I wonder, why do we put ourselves through it?
Either we tell someone we want to be friends or they tell us, but how often do we really mean it? Sometimes we just don't want to ever have to talk to them again or we say it because we just don't want to hurt them and this seems to be the easiest way. If we are the ones being told that someone we like just wants to be friends with us we think well maybe somewhere down the line things will work out or I rather have them in my life than not at all. We kid ourselves into believing this is the best way yet in the end we are left disappointed when we don't hear from them or see them for months at a time.
"I'm just too busy for a relationship right now, work/school/family needs to be my priority, but I'd love it if we stayed friends." Why don't we just say what we really mean unless you truly do want to be friends with the person! We could save each other disappointment and anger if we just could say what we mean. We need to move forward and get past trying to please everyone and keep everyone happy. It's better to be honest than to give someone false hopes.
It makes me wonder, why is it that with all the advancement in society it seems that this area of our lives, dating, romance, relationships, seem to remain stagnant. Let's try something new. Let's try being open and honest. Let's try being real friends and not just friends for the sake of hiding how we really feel and the fear or hurting someone. Honesty may hurt now but in the end it will save us so much more heartache.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Love Isn't Enough
We spend so much time looking for love, waiting for love, pretending not to be looking for love. Then once we have it we spend time trying to change the other person, looking to see if there is something better out there and sometimes we exploit what we have. Even if we don’t and we are genuinely happy sometimes love fades because as much as we like to think so, love isn’t enough. What do we do when love isn’t enough? Where do we go from here?
I always refer back to Ireland went talking about matters such as these. I was head over heels in love with someone thousands of miles away. Somehow, we made it work and even though we had our trials and tribulations and months when we didn’t speak our love was so strong that it last over the span of four years. Eventually things began to change and I realized I didn’t miss him as much as I used to. Those phone calls I would look so forward to became a chore and we began to fight, we never used to fight.
What I didn’t recognize at the time was that over time, while I did love him, we grew far apart and the distance began to feel further and further. I had many ambitions in life, many things that I wanted to do and see. I wanted to travel, see the world. He on the other hand didn’t understand why people would spend so much money on going to other countries and come back with only pictures. He also believed he lived in the most beautiful place on earth so what was the point in going anywhere else. I wanted to study, he didn’t. In the end I found that we had become completely different people and even though we loved each other it just wasn’t enough to keep us going.
When we love someone we tend to go out of our way to make things work but if we don’t see eye to eye on certain issues then there is only so much we can do before we get tired. In the end really all we can do is take solace in the fact that we have wonderful friends and family who will be there for us when we need them to be. Sometimes as much as it hurts we just have to let go because if we can make it through now when will we ever? People don’t change they only grow and if the person doesn’t grow with you but instead they grow apart from you, well then the best thing you can do is step back and let them while you move on, on your own path.
Whether we move on right away or take time for ourselves before falling head first again, we can at least rest easy knowing that one day love just might be enough, just with someone else. In the end isn’t what we are looking for something that is a relationship where loving the other person doesn’t take effort?
I always refer back to Ireland went talking about matters such as these. I was head over heels in love with someone thousands of miles away. Somehow, we made it work and even though we had our trials and tribulations and months when we didn’t speak our love was so strong that it last over the span of four years. Eventually things began to change and I realized I didn’t miss him as much as I used to. Those phone calls I would look so forward to became a chore and we began to fight, we never used to fight.
What I didn’t recognize at the time was that over time, while I did love him, we grew far apart and the distance began to feel further and further. I had many ambitions in life, many things that I wanted to do and see. I wanted to travel, see the world. He on the other hand didn’t understand why people would spend so much money on going to other countries and come back with only pictures. He also believed he lived in the most beautiful place on earth so what was the point in going anywhere else. I wanted to study, he didn’t. In the end I found that we had become completely different people and even though we loved each other it just wasn’t enough to keep us going.
When we love someone we tend to go out of our way to make things work but if we don’t see eye to eye on certain issues then there is only so much we can do before we get tired. In the end really all we can do is take solace in the fact that we have wonderful friends and family who will be there for us when we need them to be. Sometimes as much as it hurts we just have to let go because if we can make it through now when will we ever? People don’t change they only grow and if the person doesn’t grow with you but instead they grow apart from you, well then the best thing you can do is step back and let them while you move on, on your own path.
Whether we move on right away or take time for ourselves before falling head first again, we can at least rest easy knowing that one day love just might be enough, just with someone else. In the end isn’t what we are looking for something that is a relationship where loving the other person doesn’t take effort?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Love Thyself the Most
We are always so consumed by relationships, how to find one, once we find one how do we keep it, how to get out of one and what happens after all is said and done. While I agree that we do need to open up and give someone else the benefit of the doubt, give them the opportunity to show us who they are are. I feel there is a relationship far more important that gets overlooked all too often.
Of all the relationships that come and go out of our lives the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Sometimes, well more often than not, we take this one for granted. How can we truly let ourselves love someone if we don't yet love ourselves. After a discussion with a close friend the concept of having a good realtionship with oneself seemed to be the answer we've all been looking for! Such a simple concept seemed to elude us and yet the more I think about it the more I see that this is infact the missing piece to the puzzle.
Most of the time we don't know what we want. We jump around from potential partner to potential partner and each time we come up short changed. The reason we are finding people such as St. Britain, After Hours and Channing is because we don't know what we want! We just expect that the one for us will show up and we never think that we may be the very reason for why they haven't come yet. We are constantly putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to the Angelinas and Brads of the world. When we are not satisfyed with who we are or what we look like we simply just justify that whoever is meant for us will love us unconditionally with flaws and all. While this is true, that person will love us no matter who we are, it is only to a certain extent.
The one for us will love us unconditonally for who we are. Who we are should be someone who is happy in their skin. Someone who knows who they are and are comfortable and proud to be themselves. Why should we get into a relationship with someone else before working on the most important one, the one with ourselves? Could it be that when we accept ourselves and finally learn to love who we are is when all the questions about the opposite sex are answered? Is what we are looking for someone who is first and foremost in a stable relationship with themself? I think we are on to something. When they said "Love others well, but love thyself the most; give good for good, but not to thine own cost." maybe they were right all along and we just turned a blind eye.
Can we set aside our desire to love and be loved for a little while, while we learn to love ourselves?
Of all the relationships that come and go out of our lives the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Sometimes, well more often than not, we take this one for granted. How can we truly let ourselves love someone if we don't yet love ourselves. After a discussion with a close friend the concept of having a good realtionship with oneself seemed to be the answer we've all been looking for! Such a simple concept seemed to elude us and yet the more I think about it the more I see that this is infact the missing piece to the puzzle.
Most of the time we don't know what we want. We jump around from potential partner to potential partner and each time we come up short changed. The reason we are finding people such as St. Britain, After Hours and Channing is because we don't know what we want! We just expect that the one for us will show up and we never think that we may be the very reason for why they haven't come yet. We are constantly putting ourselves down and comparing ourselves to the Angelinas and Brads of the world. When we are not satisfyed with who we are or what we look like we simply just justify that whoever is meant for us will love us unconditionally with flaws and all. While this is true, that person will love us no matter who we are, it is only to a certain extent.
The one for us will love us unconditonally for who we are. Who we are should be someone who is happy in their skin. Someone who knows who they are and are comfortable and proud to be themselves. Why should we get into a relationship with someone else before working on the most important one, the one with ourselves? Could it be that when we accept ourselves and finally learn to love who we are is when all the questions about the opposite sex are answered? Is what we are looking for someone who is first and foremost in a stable relationship with themself? I think we are on to something. When they said "Love others well, but love thyself the most; give good for good, but not to thine own cost." maybe they were right all along and we just turned a blind eye.
Can we set aside our desire to love and be loved for a little while, while we learn to love ourselves?
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The 21st Century Man
Henry VIII changed the face of religion in the United Kingdom for a woman. The Taj Mahal was built out of love for a woman. The Trojan race was wiped out by a war that was begun for love for a woman. Our history is litered with great men who did showed their love by extraordinary means. They showed their love in a way where we are still feeling the effect of their love being echoed throughout the centuries.
When I see these amazing things that have happened in the world's history I wonder, where did the old world sense of romance disappear to? The more I think about it the more I realize those men are very few and far between. If not only in my life but in the lives of those around me as well.
After Hours, a good looking guy, funny, good personality. The kind of guy who still baffles no matter how hard you try to understand his actions. My friend met After Hours one night and entertained the idea that he may actually be a good one, he even had me convinced he would be good for her. Then he didn't call, so we wrote him off. A week later she hears from him and he joins us along with his friends on a night out. After the night out he went back to no phone calls then suddenly he would call but always post-midnight. No to mention making plans, or atleast attemping to, but never following through.
Exhibit B, let'scall him Channing. He would contact me in the same way as After Hours would contact my friend, although, he uses the less primitive form of communication instead of calling me he would send me e-mails every couple of weeks begging to see me and professing he would do anything for me. However, when it would come down to it he would see me once then not contact me again for a few more weeks even though before leaving he would promise that all he wanted to do is be with me and want to see me everyday.
Men like Channing and After Hours baffle me. I have tried so hard to unravel this mystery along with my friends and we never seem to be able to figure it out. This is my cry to men out there.... please don't say things you don't mean! If a man tells a woman he will do something where in his mind does he think that it is O.K. to not do it without telling the woman. After discussing this with my friends and from my own thoughts on the matter we've come to the conclusion that a man should do what he says and if he can't there are ways of notifying us. It is the 21st century after all.
Men like Paris from Troy, Henry VIII and Emperor Shah Jahan knew they loved their women and they showed it in the way they knew how. When men like them could do amazing things for the women they loved then why is it so hard for a man today to just follow through with something as simple as showing up or calling. How is it that in the time we live in now, where communicating with one another has never been easier, are we finding it so hard to open the lines? Why can't we talk to one another and tell each other how we really feel? What are we afraid of? Why is it so hard to open up?
When I see these amazing things that have happened in the world's history I wonder, where did the old world sense of romance disappear to? The more I think about it the more I realize those men are very few and far between. If not only in my life but in the lives of those around me as well.
After Hours, a good looking guy, funny, good personality. The kind of guy who still baffles no matter how hard you try to understand his actions. My friend met After Hours one night and entertained the idea that he may actually be a good one, he even had me convinced he would be good for her. Then he didn't call, so we wrote him off. A week later she hears from him and he joins us along with his friends on a night out. After the night out he went back to no phone calls then suddenly he would call but always post-midnight. No to mention making plans, or atleast attemping to, but never following through.
Exhibit B, let'scall him Channing. He would contact me in the same way as After Hours would contact my friend, although, he uses the less primitive form of communication instead of calling me he would send me e-mails every couple of weeks begging to see me and professing he would do anything for me. However, when it would come down to it he would see me once then not contact me again for a few more weeks even though before leaving he would promise that all he wanted to do is be with me and want to see me everyday.
Men like Channing and After Hours baffle me. I have tried so hard to unravel this mystery along with my friends and we never seem to be able to figure it out. This is my cry to men out there.... please don't say things you don't mean! If a man tells a woman he will do something where in his mind does he think that it is O.K. to not do it without telling the woman. After discussing this with my friends and from my own thoughts on the matter we've come to the conclusion that a man should do what he says and if he can't there are ways of notifying us. It is the 21st century after all.
Men like Paris from Troy, Henry VIII and Emperor Shah Jahan knew they loved their women and they showed it in the way they knew how. When men like them could do amazing things for the women they loved then why is it so hard for a man today to just follow through with something as simple as showing up or calling. How is it that in the time we live in now, where communicating with one another has never been easier, are we finding it so hard to open the lines? Why can't we talk to one another and tell each other how we really feel? What are we afraid of? Why is it so hard to open up?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
The Eternal Bachelor
We will call him Jaws. Not particularly attractive however, after chatting a little bit you actually do find what you think is a decent man. He is close to his family, he runs his own business and even picks you up, in a nice car, for a good old fashioned date. You think to yourself, "He isn't so bad, maybe I shouldn't be so shallow, maybe it will be a matter of falling for his personality...".
The date goes off without any problems and you think you may actually like him. Well, Jaws knows how to get to a woman. The come up behind you quitely and before you know it they turn into the complete opposite of what you thought. A sleezy man who is the eternal bachelor. Jaws cannot commit to one person and basically preys on unsuspecting women.
The Eternal Bachelor. The man who will take a woman out, show her a great time then do the same the next night with someone else. Why is it that it is so hard do people to commit to one another these days? Why are we so greedy that we can't just enjoy one person? It seems to me that more and more we feel that committing to someone is the end of everything we know. We feel that being tied to one person we can't have "fun" anymore. Granted you can't go around with whoever you want but if you truly like someone then why not try?
Somehow, through it all, we've began to expect a lightning bolt to strike us and tell us this is it. It can be something wonderful but maybe we have to give it time to grow. Then maybe the Eternal Bachelor might have to hang up his hat.
The date goes off without any problems and you think you may actually like him. Well, Jaws knows how to get to a woman. The come up behind you quitely and before you know it they turn into the complete opposite of what you thought. A sleezy man who is the eternal bachelor. Jaws cannot commit to one person and basically preys on unsuspecting women.
The Eternal Bachelor. The man who will take a woman out, show her a great time then do the same the next night with someone else. Why is it that it is so hard do people to commit to one another these days? Why are we so greedy that we can't just enjoy one person? It seems to me that more and more we feel that committing to someone is the end of everything we know. We feel that being tied to one person we can't have "fun" anymore. Granted you can't go around with whoever you want but if you truly like someone then why not try?
Somehow, through it all, we've began to expect a lightning bolt to strike us and tell us this is it. It can be something wonderful but maybe we have to give it time to grow. Then maybe the Eternal Bachelor might have to hang up his hat.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Something Better
As I speak to my friends and look back on my own experiences I find a trend starting to form in the men of today. A very unsettling trend... ladies and gentlemen, step right up and meet Mr. Always Looking for Something Better. Who is this man you might ask? He is the man who seems to always have a good looking girl on his arm, the man who is quite charming, the man who has far too many female friends.
While he is always attached to a beautiful girlfriend he is never quite satisfied. Around her he is the perfect boyfriend, doing everything he is supposed to do. However, once she is no longer lurking around the perfect boyfriend turns into someone I doubt she would feel the same about. You see him flirting with all the girls, make friends with them at the drop of a hat. He has that one girl he tries to impress the most, perhaps his next victim for when he is facing single life again.
I've begun to wonder, is he just Mr. Serial-Dater or is he trying to get to his ideal woman by dating the almost-ideal ones. I have two different views on this matter. Case one: He is head over heels for someone that he can't have. For various reasons, distance, timing, lack of attraction from both sides. Whatever the case may be she is unattainable to him therefore, he dates beautiful women one after the other and is constantly looking to meet new women, to see if maybe he finds someone who comes close to the one person he can't have. Case two: with all the distractions we face today and the way society has created a "disposable" view on relationships, people don't seem to be in them for the long-haul. Media constantly pounds us with stories of infidelity and why someone isn't right for us because they do not behave the way society says they should in a relationship.
It seems to me in a world where relationships seem to have lost some of the everlasting power they once had, we constantly expect that there is something better out there. Maybe sometimes we need to stop and appreciate what it is we have in front of us. If we are constantly looking for more, for better, we lose sight of what may already be there waiting for us to realize that maybe it doesn't get any better than what we already have. We need to learn to accept what we have and appreciate the person who cares for us even when we turn a blind eye to them as we continue to search for the unrealistic ideal we have built up in our minds.
If we are lucky enough to have someone by our side who cares about us and loves us, then they deserve the same in return and if we can't provide that then we have no business stringing them along so that we don't have to be alone, in the end that is what it boils down to. As scary as the thought can be sometimes it is better to be alone than to be leaving a path of broken hearts in our wake as we look for Something Better.
While he is always attached to a beautiful girlfriend he is never quite satisfied. Around her he is the perfect boyfriend, doing everything he is supposed to do. However, once she is no longer lurking around the perfect boyfriend turns into someone I doubt she would feel the same about. You see him flirting with all the girls, make friends with them at the drop of a hat. He has that one girl he tries to impress the most, perhaps his next victim for when he is facing single life again.
I've begun to wonder, is he just Mr. Serial-Dater or is he trying to get to his ideal woman by dating the almost-ideal ones. I have two different views on this matter. Case one: He is head over heels for someone that he can't have. For various reasons, distance, timing, lack of attraction from both sides. Whatever the case may be she is unattainable to him therefore, he dates beautiful women one after the other and is constantly looking to meet new women, to see if maybe he finds someone who comes close to the one person he can't have. Case two: with all the distractions we face today and the way society has created a "disposable" view on relationships, people don't seem to be in them for the long-haul. Media constantly pounds us with stories of infidelity and why someone isn't right for us because they do not behave the way society says they should in a relationship.
It seems to me in a world where relationships seem to have lost some of the everlasting power they once had, we constantly expect that there is something better out there. Maybe sometimes we need to stop and appreciate what it is we have in front of us. If we are constantly looking for more, for better, we lose sight of what may already be there waiting for us to realize that maybe it doesn't get any better than what we already have. We need to learn to accept what we have and appreciate the person who cares for us even when we turn a blind eye to them as we continue to search for the unrealistic ideal we have built up in our minds.
If we are lucky enough to have someone by our side who cares about us and loves us, then they deserve the same in return and if we can't provide that then we have no business stringing them along so that we don't have to be alone, in the end that is what it boils down to. As scary as the thought can be sometimes it is better to be alone than to be leaving a path of broken hearts in our wake as we look for Something Better.
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